TGIF | Utah Wedding Photographer
TGIF :: It’s Friday. Get fired up.
A year ago, a friend was sitting on my couch in Park City. She was single (V was kinda baffled by that point, but that’s neither here nor there). And the question loomed: where was her Prince?
Okay, that’s a bit fairytale-ish. The question is more about why some people are single when they don’t want to be, and how/when/where you’re supposed to find your partner.
There are the people that are single… and you get it. They might not get it… but everyone around them gets it (I was one of those people in my 20s). They’re kind of a lost cause until they get their shizz together and become more self-aware, etc. That said, even the lost causes seem to partner-up sometimes (I was one of those people, too).
But those aren’t the people I’m referring to. I’m talking about people that are attractive & interesting & self-sufficient, go on dates, and nothing ever clicks. They’re not even overly romantic, idealizing ‘the one’ or having insane lists of ‘must-haves’ in a companion. They just continue to put themselves out there with no results.
It’s due to this single-person conundrum that I love asking my brides how they met their husbands-to-be. [btw, yes, I refer to my wedding clients as ‘my brides’ — I hope that’s okay with everyone — I assure there’s no possession-problem going on, but it’s just easier than ‘the bride that’s hired me to photograph her wedding’]. The stories always, always interest me, even if the answer is just ‘in a bar.’ I guess the dynamics between two people that ultimately decide to share their LIVES makes me turn into a reporter, cuz I really want to know the details. How does this mystery of love unfold??
I remember New Year’s Eve 2010. I was living in Puerto Rico, and a friend was visiting, and, following a day on the beach, we were watching a House marathon and eating DiGiorno (a pretty kick-ass NYE if I do say so myself). As two single ladies in their 30s, the whole ‘are we going to end up getting married?’ was not an infrequent conversation, so of course it popped up on this fairly momentous of holidays.
“I had love when I was younger,” I said to her. “Wild crazy can’t-live-without-each-other love. Now that I’m older, I’m pretty sure that can only happen to people that are too young to know better. Really, I’ve given this some thought. Maybe it’s cynicism but I think it’s experience, wisdom, and pragmatism that’s telling me I’m over the whole getting-married thing.”
I wasn’t delusional, kidding myself into thinking that being unmarried would be some okay alternative. I was, genuinely, in love with my life. I had all the passion a girl could need in my work & my travel, and I had a sense of peace, accomplishment, and confidence that I’d never known. I’d simply stopped looking for a husband to complete my life.
Three months later, I was married to V (and if there’s any question that I’m not head-over-heels this man, feel free to read this post). And my friend eating DiGiorno with me in Puerto Rico? Got engaged last year. And my friend on the couch with me in Park City last year? Got engaged last week, nearly a year (to the day) following our ‘why are you single? convo (and, btw, he IS her Prince).
Life surprises the crap out of me. Nearly every day. And sometimes it’s in the most wondrous, joyful ways. So whether you’re hoping for marriage, kids, a career, a home, or even just to get out of student loan debt, I guess my advice is to never say never. Don’t write anything off as impossible. Because the only ‘never’ that I’ll cop to is: you never know what can happen.
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