TGIF | Travel Photographer
TGIF :: It’s Friday. Get fired up.
So, we’re home. We’ve returned to Park City following two months of tackling projects in the midwest and east coast. After 8,000 miles on the car, we’re long overdue for an oil change, tire rotation, and night in our own bed.
It’s strange to be back, and I say that with a little guilt. I’ve missed my friends here, and Park City is a wonderful place to live. But, still, I feel sad today. I’ve been unpacking, tidying up, and re-orienting myself with a heavy heart, and it’s been difficult to knock that pep back into my step.
These months were not a vacation, so it’s not as though I’m faced with ‘getting back into the routine’ or any number of phrases that describe the dread of jumping back into your workflow. In fact, it’s much easier to operate now that I have my desktop, external drives, and office space back at my disposal. And it’s not as though traveling is infinitely wonderful. The trials of this past winter (snowmageddon, vortices, ice storms, etc) made our driving very cumbersome, and we got stuck several times in crappy hotels waiting out a storm (or five).
It’s more that I’m facing the heartbreak related to having visited a number of old friends, which is an incredible luxury that our frequent travel affords me. I get to call up people I knew back in middle school, high school, college, and graduate school, and let them know I’m in town in hopes of a visit. I hadn’t seen most of these people in years but, due to the wonders of Facebook, we’d been in pretty decent touch, and I’ve been so excited to see them in the context of their adult lives. Meet husbands, wives, and children. Hear about blossoming careers. See homes and lives they’ve built for themselves.
There are some intense emotions associated with stopping in on longtime friends. The rush of joy and anticipation of walking up to their doorsteps. The relief and comfort of embracing them in a squeezy hug. The surge of affection in watching them interact with their spouse. The shock and awe in seeing their features in the faces of their kids. The gut-wresting bellyache of a loooooong overdue laugh with this person, someone with whom you shared huge life experiences (for better or worse).
Getting into the car with V and driving away from all of that — shoving off again for our ‘new’ life — well, I’m not saying it’s crappy or anything. I have so much to be grateful for in Utah, and I genuinely appreciate how I’ve been able to ‘become myself’ per se out here. But, the transition between looking back and propelling forward… it takes a toll on me. Sigh. It does. And I’m just not at 100% yet.
To my friends from another time: seeing you over the past few months was very special to me. Watching you having become yourselves — it’s like I got to step right into the future, and there you guys were, fully-formed with careers and families and passions, and it feels incredible to have seen it.
To my Park City friends: most of you have no idea that you’ve made me into someone that is able to revisit parts of my past without any hint of wistful longing. I feel nostalgic, yes, but also so hopeful and inspired by what I know lies here for me in Utah. Thank you for giving me something to come home to. 🙂
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